My dear ex-boss,
You have turned my world upside down. You weren’t the only factor, I admit. But, you were one of the few. Ah! You took me on quite a ride! The minute I read the word “Work,” you popped up in my mind! So, I thought why not write to you? There must be something unfinished between us. Right? I guess this letter will help give us the closure we need. Who knows?! I have not decided anything except for writing my heart out. Ready?!
I remember my interview with you. You were listening very intently and genuinely. Then and there, both of us realized that there is going to be something very intense between us. What was it? Why has it been always so intense between us? We openly kept asking this question to each other. Did we sense the fear in each other? Or in spite of sensing the fear, we tried to hold the space for each other? Like the way you looked at me when I was utterly devastated by the sudden death of my father. Without saying a word, you understood what he meant to me, what that loss is for me, and how it’s going to be in the coming days for me. There were so many people there, but, your eyes consoled me without and beyond any words from a far distance. We understood the grief. Now that I think of it, you were always there when something so intense happened to me. At least for the past three years. With your presence, that used to be intensified even more. How? And more importantly why?
You were kind of making me see the uncertainty. I was seeing it too. For me, for you, and for the people around. But, don’t you think you were terrified of the uncertainty yourself? Or was that a call for help? I have seen the fear and defensive stance that comes from it in your eyes several times. What were you afraid of? Seeing and facing the reality? Everyone around us (including me) knew that you are a strong person and you can fight ferociously no matter what comes; be it our work, your relationships with other people, with me, with yourself. But, boss, are you stuck there? Or are you enjoying the battles?! And man! That’s so unlike you! You are the person who will always strive hard for the results instead of enjoying the process. What are you hiding behind, boss? Can I tell you? You just need to take one more step and everything will be transformed for you. A step that needs a hell lot of courage. Courage for trusting everything. Courage for love. A leap of faith. Then, the “values” that the corporate world makes us pledge and practice would just be a part and parcel of the big game! That would neither define our lives nor would keep us in some ivory towers. Right?
There were days when I used to feel deeply concerned about you. So much so that it used to make me cry out of compassion. I used to pray and wish for you to heal, be at ease. Now I don’t cry or feel deeply concerned like before. But, yes, I do pray for you to be at ease.
Hmm… You were one of the catalysts for the consciousness shift in me. And I know, so was I for you. But you refused to look, refused to accept that was being seen and shown. And I know why. I took my chance and gambled. Yeah! I was afraid. I was shaken. But, I was thrilled… And here I am! That’s it. Nothing more than “here I am.” This is what it is…
Love beyond eternity.
Yours,
_____
